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hapagirl59
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Location: North Carolina, United States
Birthday: 4/24/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: playing basketball, swimming, driving, reading, hiking, dancing, crocheting, procrastinating
Expertise: Waldenbooks...Do you have our Preferred Reader card?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/12/2002
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| i just wanted to let everyone know how wonderful my youngest sister, deanna, is. she worked out with me today and sacrificed her own muscles just so that she could spend some quality time with me because i am such a hardcore workout person. i love her so much. i cant wait till her birthday on january 3rd so i can buy her lots and lots of gifts. though buying her gifts would in no way show her how much i truly love her. i also love her because she bought me the lindsay lohan cd for christmas and also gave me chocolate that had euro wrappers. she is the most amazing girl in the world. | | |
| I'M BACK!!!
I could go on and on about my semester abroad--how it was horrible, how it was wonderful, how I changed so much, how much I saw...but I don't feel like doing that right now. It was just an interesting experience, so rewarding (though my grades don't show it), but it was the hardest semester of my life, and I can honestly say that I don't think I ever want to do that again. One time was enough.
Now I'm back at home, which means that it's time for my bi-annual xanga entry about how every time I come home, I feel torn between two worlds. Here's the spin: now I feel connected to three different places in the world, each very far apart, and the strongest pull for me right now is coming from North Carolina. I was so ready to leave France and the people there and the difficulties of functioning in a second language. But I wasn't ready, and I'm still reeling from, the shock of being home in Hawaii.
More and more I feel less and less that Hawaii is home. I feel so tall, so white, so much more east-coast focused than west-coast focused. I went to France, not Japan. I go to school in North Carolina, not California. I just don't know where home is right now. I think that for the moment I'm just waiting for the time when I graduate and I move into an apartment in NC and buy a car. Then I think that I'll finally be home.
Don't get me wrong; Hawaii is beautiful and it'll always be special to me. But I don't think that I'd call Hawaii home if my family moved to the mainland. My ties to this land just aren't that strong. It sounds terrible to be like, "Hawaii is just okay," but that's how I feel.
Last night I went to a Christmas party with some high school friends, most of whom I don't keep in touch with. The whole night I felt weird--I've just spent the past semester in Europe speaking French and some people didn't know that, and no one will ever fully understand what I went through and what kind of experience that was. I feel so separated from everyone, and last night, among all those girls that I spent my high school years with, I just missed the girls from my Dijon group. I had no idea that I had become so close to those girls this past semester or that we would have the ability to make the semester fun even when we just wanted to cry from homesickness or frustration. But that's how we grew closer, and they're the people with whom I've spent all day, almost every day, for the past few months.
So I don't know how I feel. My social life seems to have been planned for me this past semester, and I can honestly say that there are about 3 friends here that I want to hang out with this break, but I am still just so tired from that 11-hour time difference that I don't even make a huge effort to call them. What's gotten into me and who have I become? I feel like I've reverted back two cultures: from France to NC, then NC to Hawaii. We'll see where this goes... | | |
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YES, I'M STILL ALIVE...  and kickin' it in Venice!
Actually, I've been around a lot more than that since I last xangaed. Whoops. Well. Let me just say that Europe is AMAZING!!! It's been a lot harder to make the transition here than I expected, but now I'm pretty much to the point where the French way of life is the normal way of life...and I know that I'm going to miss it like crazy when I get back to the US. I'm going to miss the boulangeries and the old men walking down the street with their multiple baguettes to take home to their wives; I'm going to miss watching "Dawson's Creek" in French on tv (though here it's just "Dawson" since the " 's" doesn't exist in French and they probably couldn't prononce it); I'm going to miss hearing and understanding French being spoken all around me; I'm going to miss speaking "franglais" and having the friends I'm with know exactly what I mean. Basically, I'm going to miss France. But, of course, not everything! Not the toilets without seats, paying to use the toilet without a seat, not the 1/2 commute to school every morning by bus, not the doggie poo everywhere...
I've seen quite a bit of France and Europe so far, basically:
Normandy--D-Day beaches, Chartres, Mont Saint Michel
Burgundy--Dijon (which is actually a lot cooler than I thought), castles, cathedrals, vineyards, tiled roofs
Paris--oh, don't even get me started on how much I LOVE Paris! By the end of the semester, I'll have spent two weeks in Paris
Geneva--not really what I expected of Switzerland but there was lots of chocolate
Venice--oh, I loved Venice. Absolutely beautiful (that's where the picture is from) and amazing with all the boats and no cars at all
Provence--Van Gogh's inspirations in Arles, the ancient Roman ruins, the Mediterranean Sea (I almost cried; I was so homesick)
Barcelona--saw Sarah weee and all the fun things in that modern, huge city like Gaudi's work, the Chocolate Museum, the Picasso Museum...
and that's not even the end of it! We're going to see the French castles on the Loire this weekend, Amsterdam (pot-free for me!) the next, then Paris for Thanksgiving with Sarah again lounging at a cafe people-watching, then Strasbourg and the European Union to finish off the semester. And then it's back to North Carolina for a few fun days with Christopher and then home to Hawaii and the warmth and the beaches and family. Wow. I'm going to sleep away the holidays, it seems! Hahaha.
I know this wasn't the most exciting xanga entry nor very good representation of my thoughts and dreams and struggles like xanga usually is when it's at its most entertaining, but I figured that a little note that I'm still here is good for now! Have a wonderful rest of the semester friends, and I'll see you soon!!! Au revoir! | | |
| I'M IN FRANCE, AND I'M HERE TILL CHRISTMAS, BUDDIES!
Woohoooooooo, I never thought that this dream would actually come true. To be honest, Paris disappointed me, but then again, I had just said a sad goodbye to Christopher, it was rainy and about 60 degrees in the middle of August, the Parisiens were giving us all dirty looks, we couldn't get into our hostel to sleep until 2 pm, everyone was speaking a language that I had for some reason thought existed but no one ever really spoke it since to me it was just in books, and all they had to eat was bread. Since being in Paris for five days and being here in Dijon for about four, things have started to look up. I mean, it sounds like classes are going to kill me, but my French will definitely improve. I still feel like all I eat here is bread and ham with a cafe on the side, but oh well. I guess this is just the French way! C'est la vie! I move into my host family house on Wednesday, and I'm so excited and so ready for it. I'm excited to speak more French than I have been since I've arrived in Dijon, and I want to finally be able to unpack my heavy suitcase. I'm already tired of my limited wardrobe, but then again, there is some good shopping here, so I'm not terribly worried.
It's hard cause I don't hang out at Wake with any of these people, but I've made really good friends with the girls I traveled to Paris with. I can tell the differences between the types of people that are here, and it's just really weird because these 13 would never hang out together at Wake, and yet here we are, in the middle of Western Europe, spending a semester together. I'm excited about our travels around France and my travels to Barcelona and Venice and Switzerland. Maybe Corsica, Rome, London... we'll see how things work themselves out.
So while it's really sad to be here this semester since Christopher is back at Wake all by himself doing too much sciency work and reading wonderful British lit, but at the same time, I knew that this was something that I'd have to do for myself, especially since it's been one of my dreams since I started taking French six years ago. I'm so excited to learn so much this semester, not only about French language and culture, but about myself, about God and his plans for my life and what He wants to teach me, and even more about having extra-long distance relationships. I almost cried talking to my mom on the phone today and knowing that my family is a full 12 hours--yes, that's halfway around the world--from me is really scary and saddening. But I know that this semester will be wonderful though stressful at times, I'm sure. I mean, come on, this is still a Wake program, and we have class all day long. 
So friends, if you want me to write you this semester, you'll have to email me first, haha. I'm not going to update much cause the internet is très chèr here, so oh well. But have wonderful semesters, wherever the wind blows you (ie starting your own long-distance relationship, wink wink), and have fun! Oh, and don't call my cell phone cause I won't be answering it until December! | | |
| The summer is over. I feel like I didn't do half of what I had set out to do at the beginning of the summer. I came back home, afraid of living at home for three months for the first time since graduation, afraid of not being able to drive, afraid of going to a church with a very politically-minded pastor. And yet, this has been such a great summer.
I did temp work, which turned out to be the best move I could've made. I worked when I wanted to and I didn't work when Chris was here. I made more than retail and I didn't have to worry about putting that money back in the company with my employee discount. I got to buy more sophisticated clothes and feel like a modern-day business woman. I discovered even more how much I detest the thought of working in an office for the rest of my life, doing paper work and staring at a computer screen. I met people that I never, ever would have met otherwise had I just been home for the summer.
It's so strange because I feel like in the midst of all this, I was able to define who I am, what I believe, what I want out of life, how I'm living my life now, and who my friends are. I saw people I haven't seen since graduation which for some was welcomed and others was just...there. I didn't get to see some of the people that I had been curious to see again, but then again, maybe, as I've written before, some relationships just come to that point where it's no longer advantageous to move forward; you might as well just let them be.
Interestingly enough, I feel like the movie "The Prince and Me" has sketched out my life, but in a much more defined pattern. I know, that sounds really shallow, and what a typical storyline for anyone's life, but I think that part of the reason why I saw it three times in the theater and bought it the day it came out was because I realized that what I've been going through for the past few months isn't just an indiviual thing. Everyone has to choose between two paths in life, and I feel like I'm getting to that point.
All throughout high school I've dreamt of going to a small Southern Baptist college, graduating with a degree in history, attending seminary, doing missions in North America for two years, getting married somewhere along the way, having four kids...and on and on. But things have changed. I go to a conservative private school in the south, have been dating someone for over a year, have decided that I want to attend graduate school to get my Master's in something...and my plans are changing. I want to teach in NC after graduation, get residency, attend UNC-Chapel Hill for my Masters, live in Raleigh or New Bern (although I haven't been to either, haha), and have my family. Where has the missions gone? I wonder if Wake, with all of its over-achieving students, has changed my mind to believe that if I want to truly succeed, I have to have more and more education, and seminary education isn't good enough. So what do I do? I revert back to "The Prince and Me." I hate to spoil the movie, but for some people, old dreams are too strong to let new paths develop. What's going to happen to me? And when does this decision take place? I'm not sure anymore.
Well, all these deep ramblings and comments about "What I Did Over My Summer Break" are the last thoughts of a (thus far) girl from Hawaii who likes to galavant across the country. Well, now it's time for this girl to explore a new country and a new continent. I'm going to Dijon, France, for the semester (since I realize that maybe I don't tell people the whole truth about this next semester), and I still can't believe it. A week from today I will be in Paris, exploring the city and avoiding theives, and then it'll be off to Dijon, 2 hours SE of Paris.
Studying abroad in France is yet another dream realized, and I'm so excited and nervous about immersing myself in yet another culture. My French will improve, I'll become more world-conscious, but will this change who I am? Last night at dinner my two best friends were musing over what I would be like when I come home in December, and they hoped that I wouldn't be snobby. Hmm. I had never thought about that before. I certainly hope that I'll change somewhat after studying abroad, but I don't want to become someone that I'm not. Does that make sense? This whole experience is going to be amazing, but I don't want it to change who I am. So, on that note,
AU REVOIR, MES COPAINS! JE VAIS ALLER A LA FRANCE! | | |
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